5 Common Superhero Wardrobe Malfunctions and How to Avoid Them

We’ve all been there (okay, not all of us…) – you’re in the middle of busting the big bad, gleefully getting our smack-down on, when you reach for the duct-tape in your utility belt and the entire belt is gone. Where is it?! You know where it is – the dumb thing was poorly made in some sweat-shop in Azerbaijan, faux-leather weakened by the tears of children forced to sew belt loops from dawn until dusk, and it broke. Again.

No more!! You cry unto the night, curled fist silhouetted against the moon. No more.

VCV Magazine has tested five of your most common Superhero costume trims and picked out the best, the swankiest and the most durable, saving you the time, hassle and downright embarrassment of trying, and failing, to find the perfect costume accoutrement yourself.

 

THE TACTICAL BELT

The Sierra Bravo Duty Belt Kit from 511tactical.com is durable, sleek, and – most importantly – black. From their website,

The Sierra Bravo Duty law enforcement duty belt kit gives you the adaptability and customizability you need to create the perfect foundation for your duty wardrobe,

It’s made from ultra-strong fabric, has a dual-belt configuration, it’s weather-proof, supports a broad range of load-outs, and integrates with MOLLE web gear and the 5.11 SlickStick® System ‘to give you unprecedented flexibility when choosing your accessories’. You heard that, people – unprecedented flexibility.

At a mere $55 USD, it’s not going to break the bank either – perfect for the superhero on a budget.


GLOVES

Aptly called The Ballistic Gloves, for when you just want to go ballistic on the villain who’s been taunting you for weeks – these gloves feature padded knuckle-protectors that enable you to punch harder, a textured inner grip system to ensure those pesky criminals don’t snake from your grasp, and the best bit – THEY’RE MADE OF SPANDEX. SPANDEX, PEOPLE. Seriously, what are you waiting for??


BOOTS

The Tactical Research 8 Inch Composite Toe Side Zip Military Boot. Phew, what a mouthful! With a name like that, you know they’ve got to be good. In a beautiful shade of sage green that will seamlessly slot into most costume colourschemes, this boot is lovely. Made from cowhide leather and nylon with a compression molded EVA midsole, oil and slip-resistent rubber outside (because you know when the villain gets caught the first thing they’re going to try is the old oil-spill trick), and the non-metallic composite toe meets ASTM F2412-05 and F2413-05 standards for impact & compression. These beautiful boots have three layers of cushioning for shock absorption and double- and triple- stitched seams for enhanced durability. They’re not going to break on you any time soon, and they’ll feel comfortable and light-weight when you’re kicking ass wearing them.

 

THIGH HOLSTER

The High Speed Gear HSGI Leg Rig V1 Holster might seem a little spendy at $140 USD, but trust us, this thing is a beast. It’ll hold your radio, your flashbangs, your knives, flashlight, magazines, smoke grenades – anything the discerning superhero could possibly think to carry with them on a mission to bring down the bad guys. The best bit? It’s available in five beautiful colour choices including Highlander and Wolf Grey!

 

LANYARD

Tired of the bad guys stealing your gear from you? Often the most common mistake a rookie superhero makes is failing to pick up a weapon lanyard. This thing will really save you some heartache!

The Tactical Pistol Lanyard is constructed from  1” U.S. Mil Spec 17337 webbing, Nylon and Polypropylene, has an adjustable belt-loop and quick release clip, and will work perfectly with the Tactical Belt listed above!

What are your go-to gear pieces when constructing your crime-fighting costume? Let us know (anonymously!) in the comments!

  • Kristal Crow

    That yummy Wolf Grey Thigh Holster would complement my LBD for always-ready nights on the town!